she is not made of roses

flowers do not bloom in her presence,

nor do they bloom in the deep crevices

of her mind.

she isn't made of roses

but of fragile skin

and thin bones.

she isn't made of roses

but is intricately woven of wary eyes

and tight smiles.

she is not made of roses,

but that's okay,

because they never liked roses

anyway.

 

 

 

 

Humans are weird, aren't we? Music can either soothe us or ignite us, some of us like painting out our desires on worthless pieces of paper, but make millions off of it. We find value in the most empty things, we create our own philosophies and wonder how we made it. We ponder the inevitable and wonder the extremes. But we function, don't we? I guess there's always a little bit of beauty among the ruin.

 

 

I chose these two pieces mainly because on the days that I wrote them, the words just came freely. I didn't really have to think about it with either of them at all. After writing them it kinda shocked me because I've never really considered my writing very good but I thought these were some of the best pieces I've written.

Independent Reading Reflection

 

 

This quarter I finished 1 book almost 2 books both of them very long. The first book was around 400 pages and the second around 500. I was able to understand majority of the first one and so far some of the second. For the second quarter, I'd like to read at least 2-3 books one of them being a different genre than I usually read and the other could be anything else. Also, I'd like to read at least one book that could be considered as "spiritual reading." None of the reading I did this quarter could be considered as spiritual reading because In wasn't taken to that "deeper place" while reading either of my books. This is because since it was the first quarter, I was just trying to get some reading in to start off the school year and I didn't really consider reading something with a deeper meaning. But for the second quarter, I would certainly like to pick up pace on my reading and make it more meaningful to me. 

Anxiety's Hold

Even the greatest moments, calmest actions, most peaceful energy, would be unable to tear it off once it sticks
it winds you up for everything and causes one to just pace instead
Eyes get dizzy from observation of another's and can assimilate the same hold
Tension continues to escalate and bottling it up only makes the explosion imminent
No one likes it
Some look to escape through things that actually increase it
An insanity I've dealt with and still resisting
Depravity of vice while the resuscitation of life simultaneously reacts from one thought and act of will
It's hell to deal with
I think the void between two lives would be more difficult than this
At least then you could be fascinated by the new journey
Than to continue the same and battle the duality of choosing a side
Or dealing with human ordeals such as quitting smoking or relationships
Decisions can create a hold on you, but when it's out of nowhere....
The confusion continues the hold

Shane Engisch

 

 

The theme of my narrative is most certainly not to let your struggles consume you. Which in my case, is anxiety. Within the narrative I talk about finding new ways to relax myself & finding things that make me feel less stressed out.  Also, just for me to remember that I'm stronger than this. Anxiety is tough and just as hard to help as it is to deal with. But, I think that accepting our struggles as part of what makes us up is an important step to getting through it. Now, not everything will be perfect but in the end it's all worth the fight you put up to make yourself feel better.


The theme of this poem on the other hand is that anxiety is hard to cope with but it's not impossible to deal with. Throughout the poem it does do a good job of expressing in a way what it's like. But, it never says anything about giving up or the wanting to give up which gives the piece a sense of hope in a way. "An insanity I've dealt with and still resisting." This line shows that the author is trying hard to resist his anxiousness no matter what and I think, that is important.

"No one else is dealing with your demons, meaning maybe defeating them, could be the beginning of your meaning, friend."

-Twenty One Pilots

 

This quote comes from my favorite song by the best band in the world (aka twenty one pilots.) The song is called kitchen sink and the first time I heard it, it really spoke to me. The most powerful part of the song, I think, is when Tyler Joseph (the band leader) sings this,

"Are you searching for a purpose?

Then write something, yeah it might be

worthless

Then paint something, yeah it might be

wordless

pointless curses, nonsense verses

You'll see purpose start to surface

No one else is dealing with your demons

Meaning maybe defeating them

Could be the beginning of your meaning,

friend."

Now, this relates to me because after going through some things, hearing this song really inspired to me find myself and to become a better person. After getting help, I realized how true this quote is. Overcoming your "demons" or your life struggles really does make you feel like a stronger/better person and allows you to realize your self worth too. I'm not saying this fixes everything, but it does give you a good start off on the right path for yourself which is a good thing. Now going through some things and being stronger gives me a good reason to help others overcome what they're going through too. In doing that, it makes me feel like I mean something to others and also allows them to find their meaning too.